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Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Big Happy!

You know that song, "Choose the Right Way and Be Happy"?  I was a firm believer of it.  I truly believed that if I was a good girl and did the best I could, I'd be rewarded with happiness.

You can imagine my shock when I didn't get to be cheerleader in 8th grade.  And, hey!  I was nice!  Why were those popular kids so mean to me?  And when I was in college, I studied like crazy but still couldn't get anywhere NEAR an "A" in Music History.  And... wait a minute!  I did my visiting teaching without fail, brought in dinners for sick people and held family home evening dutifully every Monday... so why is my metabolism slowing down?  How is THAT fair?!

There are plenty of situations in life that do not reward a good decision with instant joy.  As a matter of fact, there are many times in life when it seems that the right choice, the righteous choice, will prevent you from some pleasure or some ease.  So, is it all a lie?  Is it true that we can either laugh with the sinners or cry with the Saints?

I've come to understand that an instant reward of pleasure is not the same thing as eternal joy.  Neither is trial or hardship the same as everlasting misery.  Our loving Father in Heaven has born testimony of the true nature of joy in nearly everything around us.  Muscles need to be broken down before they can become strong.  Gold needs to be refined by fire before it becomes pure.  A rose bush needs to be pruned back before it will produce beautiful, strong branches for the roses to bloom upon.  Winter precedes the Spring; night comes before dawn; rain needs to fall if life is to flourish... it's all there.

I taught this lesson to the little ones in Primary a few years ago.  I call it "The Big Happy".  God loves us enough to allow us to go through discomfort and temporary pain, if it means that we will ultimately learn the lessons that will bring us back to Him forever.  On the other hand, Lucifer hates us so much that he's more than happy to offer us pleasure and ease for this short earth life if it means that we will, in the end, be miserable for eternity.  Talk about a "Big Sad".

So, through life we will, of a necessity, experience sorrow, pain and heartache.  In the grand scheme of things, these are "little" moments of sorrow... they have purpose... they are NOT eternal.  There will also be moments of temporary pleasure:  chocolate, a good movie, the rare opportunity to sleep in, an entertaining blog post.  These are not evil.  Pleasure is not wrong.  We just need to make sure that we keep these things in their proper place.  They are not the ultimate goal.  I've known many people who have made the terrible mistake of leaving their families in search of that perfect situation and constant feeling of happiness.  That's not how it works.  The things of this world can never satisfy our spiritual longing to be filled with the light we once knew when we were in our Father's presence.  Believe me, I've tried.  I've eaten an entire pan of brownies under this misguided attempt to find happiness.  The first brownie brought me so much pleasure, that surely several more delicious squares of eternal chocolate joy would bring even more.  (Heavy sigh... no pun intended.)  It just doesn't work that way. 

So what about the whole "Men are that they might have joy" thing?  If you read that whole chapter (2 Nephi 2), you'll see that the prophet Lehi is trying to explain the principle of the Big Happy to his children.  He talks about how there must be opposition in all things and then he follows it up with the statement that we are free to choose for ourselves.  We are free to choose liberty and eternal life, or captivity and death.  Hmmm.  Which to choose... which to choose.  Well, who on earth would choose captivity and death, for crying out loud?!  Sadly, we all linger a little too long at the captivity-and-death booth.  Lucifer just knows how to deck out his display.  He hands out sensual and alluring "freebies" to try to hook us and then reel us in to a life of pleasure-seeking selfishness.  This is what the Lord meant when he warned us about being focused on the pleasures of this world: 

"O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal."  (2Nephi 9:39)

So, yes, there will be some crummy days, months... even years ahead.  But the promise of joy to those who choose the right is no lie.  The real lie is found in that saying that I mentioned earlier about laughing with the sinners or crying with the saints.  The truth is, everyone has moments of sorrow... even the sinners.  The difference is that the saints know where to turn for comfort and peace.  Those who follow Lucifer, whether intentionally or not, will find that he "cheateth their souls and leadeth them away carefully down to hell."  (2Nephi 28:21)  He's not much on comfort, needless to say.

I'll just sum it up with this quote from Jenkins Lloyd Jones as quoted by Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley:

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.

“[The fact is] most putts don’t drop.  Most beef is tough.  Most children grow up to be just people.  Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration.  Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …

“Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

“The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

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