Re-thinking That Whole "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" Thing

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

This was supposed to be a FABULOUS Sunday.  The lesson was:  "I Am Thankful for Fish".  How awesome is that?  I was set with fishy crackers (the rainbow kind... no skimping going on here), some Swedish fish candy, bubbles, the fishing game that spins around and you have to catch a fish as it opens and closes its mouth, and a fun picture book about "Who Swims?"  I'm telling you, Sunbeams everywhere were going to feel goosebumps of joy run up their spines just knowing that somewhere in Texas a few of their comrades were about to take part in something incredible.

But nooOOOooo.

We somehow manage to muscle through Sharing Time, which is just painful for these little guys.  They have to sit quietly for over an hour in Sacrament Meeting and then come to Primary and sit still for yet another hour.  Like I said... painful.  But we make it through and we joyfully march down to our classroom.  I begin class our usual way by pulling out the brightly colored, magnetic foam circles with their photos on them.  We go through each picture and call out their names.  "Is Mary here?"  "No!"  So we place her picture up high on the board to remember how much we miss her.  "Is Jacob here?" "Yes!"  So Jacob gets to place his picture on the board.  We go through each child in class and little Mikey decides that his picture needs to go up high.  I tell him to put it with the other kids' pictures but he insists.  He climbs a chair when my back is turned and puts his picture up high.  I make a subtle comment about how happy I am that all the other kids put their pictures in the right place and then I move on with the lesson.  I ask the kids if they can think of anything that likes to blow bubbles? 
Kids:  "Me!  I like to blow bubbles!"
Me:  "Can you think of anything that swims in the water that likes bubbles?"
Kids:  "Fish!  Fish like to blow bubbles!"
Me:  "That's right!  And who made all the fish?"
Mikey interrupts:  "I don't want my picture up high anymore!  I want it down low!"
Everyone else:  "Heavenly Father made all the fish!"
Me:  "Very good, everyone!  Heavenly Father made the fish, and, Mikey, we're done with the pictures now."
Mikey:  "NOOO!  I want to put my picture down!"
I pull out the little spill-proof bubble blowers and hand them out.  Everyone delightedly starts blowing bubbles... except Mikey who continues to try to climb up the chair to reach his picture.  I reach up and slide his picture down with the rest of the kids and say, "There, Mikey.  Now your picture is down low, too."
Mikey:  "NOOOO!  I want to put my picture up high and then move it down low!"
Me:  "No, Mikey.  We're done with the pictures.  Come blow some bubbles."
At this point Mikey does something that I have no doubt has worked like magic on countless adults through-out his many months of life.  He shuts down all communication and just starts yelling repeatedly, "I WANT TO PUT MY PICTURE UP HIGH AND MOVE IT LOW, I WANT TO PUT MY PICTURE UP HIGH AND MOVE IT LOW, I WANT TO..." over and over and over again.

Wow.

I learned a lesson long, long ago about moments such as these.  I must win.  If I let Mikey move his picture just so that I can have some quiet and move on with my life, there will have been a greater, more destructive lesson taught.  Mikey would have learned that in order to get what he wants in life, all he has to do is keep yelling.
That can't happen. 

I brought out the fishing game and passed out the fishing poles to the other kids and they happily started fishing.  I calmly looked Mikey in the eye and said, "Mikey, I am going to win this.  You are not.  You can keep throwing a fit and get sent out to the hall with another grown-up or you can calm down and play the fishing game with the rest of us."  Please note that through my whole explanation of what was about to go down, Mikey continued his banshee yell without so much as a second's pause to catch his breath.  I was slightly worried that he might pass out from screaming.  I said, "Okay.  You've made your choice." 
He changed his yell.  "NOOOO!  I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT!  I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT!" etc., etc. 
So he WAS listening.

I grabbed him around the middle, expertly turning his body into such a position so as to make futile his attempts at scratching, hitting and kicking me.  He used all 12 of his limbs (I swear they multiplied during this process) to latch on to every folding chair we passed en route to the door.  I somehow managed to open the door and pleaded, "Help!  I need help!!!"  Three adults came rushing over and it took all three of them to wrestle this kid to the floor.
I went back into class and expected to see all my other Sunbeams gaping at me in fear.  Instead, they were completely unaffected; just sitting around the fishing game trying to catch those fish.  Little Stanley looked up and said, "Mikey shouldn't be mean like that, huh, Sister Dotson.  He should come fishing with us."  All the other Sunbeams nodded their heads in agreement with Stanley's profound wisdom.
So, we learned a good lesson after all...  and I went home and took a nap.

Top Ten 2011 Hopeful

Eric's First Submission for the year:

"Separated At Birth?"

I've often heard the theory that everyone in the world has a double wandering around somewhere, but only a few people are ever lucky enough to meet their "twin". Eric has always been a lucky guy. It was basketball night... the one night a week when he can cut loose and be like Jimmer for an hour or two. He was warming up and waiting for all the other guys to show up when one of the regulars arrived with an invited guest. He introduced his friend as "Kerick"... "Kerick Dotson". The two Dotsons looked at their mirror image and then got a good laugh out of discussing ways to help everyone tell them apart. One could wear a hat, or turn his shirt inside-out to make it easier for everyone. In the end, they decided to just remember that Eric was the Mormon twin and Kerick... was the African American.

That seemed to do the trick.

Type II "I Wannas" - A Childhood Disease... Symptoms & Cures

So, what is it about getting stuff that makes us want more stuff?  We had gone a full 2 months without having treats in the house.  We were cutting back on spending so there were no trips to Chuck E. Cheese or the movies and we were quite content.  Everyone found something that they loved and were grateful for and life was good.  Then I had my birthday and I bought enough treats and rented enough movies to keep the kids happy (and not needing anything) for a day.  Eric took the kids out to dinner that night and they did a few more fun things together.  They were still enjoying the treats and movies the next day, but by the third day my littlest one was complaining that she never got anything good.  Where does that come from?

I remembered that my older kids would do that when they were little, too.  If we had a splurge of good times, instead of ending up happier and more grateful, the kids would become more whiney and discontented.  I have wonderful kids, and I know it's not just a Dotson-Family failing... but what is it about receiving more that causes the "I Wannas" to rear its ugly head?

I have a theory.

It goes back to the "natural man" thing.  There is an eternal principle at work here.  We know that to be carnally-minded, or focused on the things of the world, is death and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.  It doesn't mean that if we eat out two days in a row we're going to die; it's more of a feed-your-body vs. feed-your-soul thing.  That which we do not NEED can never satisfy.  Our bodies need nutrition, water, sleep and love in order to flourish.  If we replace nutrition with junk food, our bodies will crave more and more because we are not satisfying our nutritional needs.  No matter how many cupcakes we stuff into our mouths, we will not feel satiated until we deliver the good stuff.  I believe the same is true with our souls.  If we are feeding our bodies' appetites for fun and frivolous activities and not our spirits, we are just stuffing ourselves with spiritual junk food.  Our souls need light, truth and love in order to flourish and feel satisfied.  When we focus on ourselves and our own wants, we find ourselves wanting more and more in an attempt to gratify our spirits' yearnings.

The Cure:  It's funny, really.  I turned Melia into my "servant-girl".  The next day she followed right by my side and assisted me with every, little task and chore on my list.  She helped load the washer and fold the clothes; she helped do the dishes and sweep the floors; we cleaned her room and bathroom.  It was a long day filled with work.  In my mind, I designed this plan to "teach her a lesson"... but, instead, she had... fun.  She loved being my little helper and working side-by-side with me.  At the days' end, when I was tucking her into bed, she gave me a tight squeeze and told me that it was the best day she had ever had!  So, we talked about it for a little while.  Why was it so good?  She couldn't find the words to express it.  She just knew that she felt good inside.  Isn't that interesting?  Her soul was satisfied because it was filled with service and obedience and love.  Think about all those parents out there who don't want to deny their children all the "good" things of life.  They're giving their first-graders I-Phones & Playstations, signing them up for every activity under the sun and going on several vacations a year in an attempt to satisfy their childrens' every want.  We're missing the point and feeding our children's souls nothing but junk.

So, my goal as a mom is to find more ways to fill my children's days with light and truth and love.  It makes sense that we're counseled to set aside one night a week for Family Home Evening.  That's one night each week when we can sit together as a family without the distractions of Facebook, texting, and television and talk to each other; truly communicate the things that are important to our better selves.  We also start each day with family prayer and scripture study.  I did this more out of obedience than understanding at first, but I've seen the blessings that come from it.  My children will discuss how the scriptures apply to what is going on in the world today and they know to their cores that there is more to life than the trivial things that they have to deal with each day.  But, more importantly, we now know that we're feeding their souls with light and truth when we start the day with scriptures and prayer.  It's like their souls' breakfast!  Beyond that, I need to find a way to feed their need for service and love.  Chores are important, but they can feel more like a "to-do" list than a service to others.  I need to do a little searching to see what options are out there.

I'll keep you posted.

Finally Released: Skier loses footing, falls off huge cliff [Captured ...

Symbolic of Adult Onset "I Wannas"... this guy knows what happens when you put on skis at the top of a mountain. I know what'll happen if I leave an opened bag of chocolates lying around. Laws of nature (and the natural man) at work.

The "I-Wannas": Type I, Adult Onset

Funny that this post should follow my "Polly Day" post.

So, I had my fabulous day - nothing extraordinary or costly - just time.  I had rented a few movies and bought a package of chocolate covered caramel candies of which I intended to savor one at a time.  This plan would allow me to relish the candy for a whole week!  As I was enjoying my $1 rental movie, I opened the golden wrapper of the chocolate caramel and slowly nibbled away at it.  Life was good.  A few hours later, as the closing credits were rolling, my first thought was, "Wow.  That movie was better than I thought it would be."  My next thought was, "Wow.  Where did all of these little, golden wrappers come from?"  Yep.  I had eaten the entire bag of chocolates.  Every last one of them.  Granted, there were only about eight in the package... but they were supposed to last me for a week!

That's when my "I-Wannas" started.  I was so disappointed in myself for not sticking to the plan, that I just threw my hands in the air and said, "Well, why not just go for broke... it IS my birthday, after all."  I stealthily snuck out to the kitchen and raided the cookies, chips, M&Ms and pizza that I had bought for the kids.  They didn't have to know... and it WAS my birthday.  I kept telling myself things like that... and rationalizing that, "after today, I am going to go back to my plan of self-control and healthy living".  Well, you can't make that kind of promise to yourself if you wake up the next day and realize that there are still a few cookies and chips left over from the night before.  The "I-Wannas" take control of you before you know it and you find yourself shoving entire sleeves of Chips-Ahoy cookies into your mouth before you're caught.  Wait... is that an Oreo shoved into the back of that package?  You realize that the day is shot and it's not even 10am.  You pour yourself a bowl of stale Lucky Charms from a bag that has been sitting in a dark corner of your pantry for months... even your seven-year old wouldn't touch it.  You snarf it down.  You catch a glimpse of yourself reflected in the microwave... milk dripping from your chin as you shovel the cereal in before anyone can walk in and catch you at it.  So, THIS is what you've become.

Where did that frame of mind come from, anyway?  Why does one little slip send us hurtling down the luge of self-destruction and regret?  I'm pretty sure that not everyone is like this.  I, like most other people, set goals to live a healthier lifestyle and cut-out the junk food from my diet.  I make plans, like everyone else, as to how I can accomplish these goals and, like other people, I determine a start date from which to launch said plans.  This is where I seem to depart from the norm and enter into my own world of human behavior.  I can't just "start".  I have to have a "going-away-party" for all the junk food which will no longer be welcome in my home.  Anything that I may have been craving in the past few weeks is invited.  But that's not all.  Anything that is lurking within the cupboards, drawers, (kids' Halloween stash from last October) is invited, too.  If there is a tub of old frosting in the back of the fridge with nothing left inside but a few, dried-out scrapings somehow passed over by everyone else... well, it's invited to my party.  It's sad, really.  But there you have it.

I've learned some valuable lessons from this weird part of my psyche.  I've learned to have empathy for anyone with addictions or failings.  That whole "glass house" thing applies quite well here.  I've learned that everyone has something they need to overcome.  For some, the "I Wannas" lead to weaknesses that are obvious to on-lookers, such as an addiction to food, cigarettes, or alcohol.  For others, the down-ward slope and an "I've blown it anyway, and I want this" attitude will lead to darker, more destructive (yet less obvious) habits of pornography or abuse.  Let's not forget that giving in to temper, being critical of others, gossiping, pride, or refusing to admit fault, among countless other human failings, also fall into the "I Wannas" realm of the human experience.  We can't pretend that we're any better than anyone else unless we have mastered self-control in every aspect of our lives... removed the beam from our own eye, so to speak.

The second lesson for me here is that overcoming ones' self is one of the greatest things we can hope to achieve in this life.  Benjamin Franklin, Shakespeare, Goethe, Buddha, Confucius, Mother Teresa and many, many other sages through-out time have expressed similar ideas.  If one is master of himself, there's nothing he cannot accomplish or overcome.  It's a line upon line thing and it's an incredible gift made possible by our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Because He atoned for all of our failings, He knows how hard it is to let it go.  Even better, He knows HOW to let it go.  We just have to turn to Him (and never give up turning to Him) for help.  I've been thinking about why the natural man is an enemy to God.  We know that our bodies house God's spirit children.  I believe we become an enemy to Him when we choose to allow our bodies to become the master of our spirits.  When we do this, the communication lines between our spirits and our Heavenly Father are shut down... and the switch is on our side.  To turn away from excessive appetites and unholy passions is to turn back to God.  I need to remember that I'm a spiritual being having a physical experience not a physical being with nowhere else to go.  I've got places to go when this life is through!  And I have no intention of leaving this world with a total lack of control around chocolate covered caramels!

The third thing I've learned is that there is much to learn.  While we have no room to judge others for any human weakness, we would be foolish not to learn from them.  Are angry people happy?  Do drug/alcohol addicts have the quality of life that you hope to have?  What kind of relationships do these people enjoy?  I think this helps with the empathy, too.  If instead of judging or becoming upset with someone else's weakness, we can see the sorrow it has brought them, it will soften our hearts and strengthen our own resolve.  What can you learn from me?  If you're only allotting yourself one candy, don't sit next to the opened bag.  Also, throw away stale Lucky Charms and mostly empty frosting containers while you still can.