Snort!

Here's a family favorite!  One person is blind-folded and is given an empty paper towel tube or a rolled up magazine to hold.  Spin the person a few times while everyone scatters to different areas of the room.  The person who is it carefully wanders the room trying to find someone to tap with their tube.  (No peeking... and no feeling around with your hands... only the tube.)  Once he finds someone, he says, "Snort!"  The person he tapped needs to snort like a pig three times.  The person who is it has to guess who just snorted.  If he gets it right, then the snorter is now it.  Everyone tries to find new and interesting ways to vary their snorts.  Follow up the game with some Pigs-in-a-Blanket as a snack.  Lots of fun!

Top Ten Hopeful - 2011

Jason and/or Melia's first entry:


"Dance for me, puppet!"

Jason landed the perfect job.  He gets to stand behind a register and cheerfully greet all the happy people that come into the frozen yogurt shop.  They get their own yogurt cup, they fill that cup with the frozen confection of their choice and then complete their creation with any number of tasty toppings.  Then they walk over to where Jason is standing and they place their dessert on a scale and he tells them how much to pay him for it.  Tough job.

What cracks us up, though, is that he has a tip jar placed right by the scale.  What on earth does he do to deserve a tip?  Sure, he's cute and friendly... but has it really come to the point where we have to tip people for being friendly?  Shouldn't that be the reason they were hired in the first place?  This is frozen yogurt, not the DMV.  Cheerful service is expected here.

But, hey... if people are willing, why not?  Right?

We decided to make a family trip to the Yogurt Story and check it out.  After we all got our dessert and sat down, I gave Melia (7 years old) a quarter to give to Jason as a tip.  She walked over to the tip jar and looked him dead in the eye with an expression of such seriousness on her face, it commanded his attention.  Without blinking, she held up the quarter and said, "Dance."  He stared her down for a second or two.  Then, to Melia's great pleasure, he started to dance to the music playing in the background.  He got a couple of strange looks from the other customers, but he aimed to please.  Melia smiled, nodded her head and dropped the quarter into the jar.

He earned it.

The Big Happy!

You know that song, "Choose the Right Way and Be Happy"?  I was a firm believer of it.  I truly believed that if I was a good girl and did the best I could, I'd be rewarded with happiness.

You can imagine my shock when I didn't get to be cheerleader in 8th grade.  And, hey!  I was nice!  Why were those popular kids so mean to me?  And when I was in college, I studied like crazy but still couldn't get anywhere NEAR an "A" in Music History.  And... wait a minute!  I did my visiting teaching without fail, brought in dinners for sick people and held family home evening dutifully every Monday... so why is my metabolism slowing down?  How is THAT fair?!

There are plenty of situations in life that do not reward a good decision with instant joy.  As a matter of fact, there are many times in life when it seems that the right choice, the righteous choice, will prevent you from some pleasure or some ease.  So, is it all a lie?  Is it true that we can either laugh with the sinners or cry with the Saints?

I've come to understand that an instant reward of pleasure is not the same thing as eternal joy.  Neither is trial or hardship the same as everlasting misery.  Our loving Father in Heaven has born testimony of the true nature of joy in nearly everything around us.  Muscles need to be broken down before they can become strong.  Gold needs to be refined by fire before it becomes pure.  A rose bush needs to be pruned back before it will produce beautiful, strong branches for the roses to bloom upon.  Winter precedes the Spring; night comes before dawn; rain needs to fall if life is to flourish... it's all there.

I taught this lesson to the little ones in Primary a few years ago.  I call it "The Big Happy".  God loves us enough to allow us to go through discomfort and temporary pain, if it means that we will ultimately learn the lessons that will bring us back to Him forever.  On the other hand, Lucifer hates us so much that he's more than happy to offer us pleasure and ease for this short earth life if it means that we will, in the end, be miserable for eternity.  Talk about a "Big Sad".

So, through life we will, of a necessity, experience sorrow, pain and heartache.  In the grand scheme of things, these are "little" moments of sorrow... they have purpose... they are NOT eternal.  There will also be moments of temporary pleasure:  chocolate, a good movie, the rare opportunity to sleep in, an entertaining blog post.  These are not evil.  Pleasure is not wrong.  We just need to make sure that we keep these things in their proper place.  They are not the ultimate goal.  I've known many people who have made the terrible mistake of leaving their families in search of that perfect situation and constant feeling of happiness.  That's not how it works.  The things of this world can never satisfy our spiritual longing to be filled with the light we once knew when we were in our Father's presence.  Believe me, I've tried.  I've eaten an entire pan of brownies under this misguided attempt to find happiness.  The first brownie brought me so much pleasure, that surely several more delicious squares of eternal chocolate joy would bring even more.  (Heavy sigh... no pun intended.)  It just doesn't work that way. 

So what about the whole "Men are that they might have joy" thing?  If you read that whole chapter (2 Nephi 2), you'll see that the prophet Lehi is trying to explain the principle of the Big Happy to his children.  He talks about how there must be opposition in all things and then he follows it up with the statement that we are free to choose for ourselves.  We are free to choose liberty and eternal life, or captivity and death.  Hmmm.  Which to choose... which to choose.  Well, who on earth would choose captivity and death, for crying out loud?!  Sadly, we all linger a little too long at the captivity-and-death booth.  Lucifer just knows how to deck out his display.  He hands out sensual and alluring "freebies" to try to hook us and then reel us in to a life of pleasure-seeking selfishness.  This is what the Lord meant when he warned us about being focused on the pleasures of this world: 

"O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal."  (2Nephi 9:39)

So, yes, there will be some crummy days, months... even years ahead.  But the promise of joy to those who choose the right is no lie.  The real lie is found in that saying that I mentioned earlier about laughing with the sinners or crying with the saints.  The truth is, everyone has moments of sorrow... even the sinners.  The difference is that the saints know where to turn for comfort and peace.  Those who follow Lucifer, whether intentionally or not, will find that he "cheateth their souls and leadeth them away carefully down to hell."  (2Nephi 28:21)  He's not much on comfort, needless to say.

I'll just sum it up with this quote from Jenkins Lloyd Jones as quoted by Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley:

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.

“[The fact is] most putts don’t drop.  Most beef is tough.  Most children grow up to be just people.  Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration.  Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …

“Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

“The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

Just a Knot in Eternity

One of the biggest obstacles we have to overcome in life is our own perspective.  It's so natural for us to see all the nickel and dime stuff as being SO big and SO important.  On the other hand, we tend to entirely miss the truly meaningful moments because we're so bogged down with minutia.  I think it has always been this way... but it has become almost laughable in its scope as of late.

We are spiritual beings that have existed for ions before this life and we will continue for an eternity after.  This earthly experience of ours is just a tiny knot in time.  The string runs for an eternity before and after the place where the knot is tied.  If we can just keep that picture in our thoughts as we go through each day, our lives will have found true perspective.

Some background:
Imagine a large family gathering.  Every single soul ever created by our Father in Heaven was in attendance.  It was a family council like no other.  We were presented with two plans.  The first was offered by one seeking to destroy the agency of man so that not one soul would be lost.  In exchange, he demanded all of God's power and glory.  The second offered to do the will of our Father, allowing all mankind to choose whom they would follow and insisting that the glory be God's forever.  A great battle for souls ensued and a third of the hosts of heaven chose to follow Lucifer (Moses 4).  Some, most likely, were lukewarm in their decision to follow Christ.  Others were valiant in their support of the One who offered to save all those who would choose to be saved.

And so we were born.  The veil of forgetfulness has erased our memory of that experience.  There are moments, however, when we are still and thoughtful that it rings truer than any other idea we've ever considered.  It IS true.  We are here for a very short time.  We are here to choose love.  We are here to choose our Savior... again.  Michael McClean once said, "If it's not love, let it go."  That's the key. 

So, we are given this one little knot of time to figure out that being right means nothing.  If being more beautiful or more powerful or more wealthy or more intelligent than those around us has become our goal, then we have missed the mark entirely.  If we spend our days just waking up, going about our normal, day-to-day routine then going to sleep just to repeat the same thing the next day, we have wasted our existence.  If we spend our spare moments lost in a virtual world and fail to strengthen our actual face-to-face relationships, we've lost. 

Each moment needs to be a mindful choice to spend it with purpose.  Each action will be a choice of how I intend to spend the rest of eternity, whether I realize it or not.  I can do the dishes and laundry begrudgingly (telestial), out of duty (terrestrial) or out of love for my family (celestial).  I can go to work and hate every moment (telestial), or I can do my best because I want to earn my paycheck (terrestrial), or I can try to lift everyone I come in contact with and make the workplace better than I found it (celestial).  When I'm in traffic I can be angry at all the idiots on the road (telestial), or I can patiently endure it as a necessary evil (terrestrial), or I can spend the time talking to my Heavenly Father or considering all these forgotten brothers and sisters of mine that surround me on the road (celestial).  Each instant brings opportunity.  Each action (or inaction) displays who we are following.

I'm not suggesting that we need to smile through all the difficult times of life and embrace them with laughter.  Heartache and suffering are necessary lessons of this life.  I'm just pointing out that if we can look at our trials with the perspective of the tiny knot, it will be easier to endure them well and to choose our response instead of allowing the situation to decide for us.  The things we suffer can often-times teach us lessons of love and light that can't be discovered any other way.

We can do this!  We will all wind our way through this small moment in eternity no matter how we choose to use it.  Eternity has already begun.

Choose love.  Let everything else go.

Re-thinking That Whole "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" Thing

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

This was supposed to be a FABULOUS Sunday.  The lesson was:  "I Am Thankful for Fish".  How awesome is that?  I was set with fishy crackers (the rainbow kind... no skimping going on here), some Swedish fish candy, bubbles, the fishing game that spins around and you have to catch a fish as it opens and closes its mouth, and a fun picture book about "Who Swims?"  I'm telling you, Sunbeams everywhere were going to feel goosebumps of joy run up their spines just knowing that somewhere in Texas a few of their comrades were about to take part in something incredible.

But nooOOOooo.

We somehow manage to muscle through Sharing Time, which is just painful for these little guys.  They have to sit quietly for over an hour in Sacrament Meeting and then come to Primary and sit still for yet another hour.  Like I said... painful.  But we make it through and we joyfully march down to our classroom.  I begin class our usual way by pulling out the brightly colored, magnetic foam circles with their photos on them.  We go through each picture and call out their names.  "Is Mary here?"  "No!"  So we place her picture up high on the board to remember how much we miss her.  "Is Jacob here?" "Yes!"  So Jacob gets to place his picture on the board.  We go through each child in class and little Mikey decides that his picture needs to go up high.  I tell him to put it with the other kids' pictures but he insists.  He climbs a chair when my back is turned and puts his picture up high.  I make a subtle comment about how happy I am that all the other kids put their pictures in the right place and then I move on with the lesson.  I ask the kids if they can think of anything that likes to blow bubbles? 
Kids:  "Me!  I like to blow bubbles!"
Me:  "Can you think of anything that swims in the water that likes bubbles?"
Kids:  "Fish!  Fish like to blow bubbles!"
Me:  "That's right!  And who made all the fish?"
Mikey interrupts:  "I don't want my picture up high anymore!  I want it down low!"
Everyone else:  "Heavenly Father made all the fish!"
Me:  "Very good, everyone!  Heavenly Father made the fish, and, Mikey, we're done with the pictures now."
Mikey:  "NOOO!  I want to put my picture down!"
I pull out the little spill-proof bubble blowers and hand them out.  Everyone delightedly starts blowing bubbles... except Mikey who continues to try to climb up the chair to reach his picture.  I reach up and slide his picture down with the rest of the kids and say, "There, Mikey.  Now your picture is down low, too."
Mikey:  "NOOOO!  I want to put my picture up high and then move it down low!"
Me:  "No, Mikey.  We're done with the pictures.  Come blow some bubbles."
At this point Mikey does something that I have no doubt has worked like magic on countless adults through-out his many months of life.  He shuts down all communication and just starts yelling repeatedly, "I WANT TO PUT MY PICTURE UP HIGH AND MOVE IT LOW, I WANT TO PUT MY PICTURE UP HIGH AND MOVE IT LOW, I WANT TO..." over and over and over again.

Wow.

I learned a lesson long, long ago about moments such as these.  I must win.  If I let Mikey move his picture just so that I can have some quiet and move on with my life, there will have been a greater, more destructive lesson taught.  Mikey would have learned that in order to get what he wants in life, all he has to do is keep yelling.
That can't happen. 

I brought out the fishing game and passed out the fishing poles to the other kids and they happily started fishing.  I calmly looked Mikey in the eye and said, "Mikey, I am going to win this.  You are not.  You can keep throwing a fit and get sent out to the hall with another grown-up or you can calm down and play the fishing game with the rest of us."  Please note that through my whole explanation of what was about to go down, Mikey continued his banshee yell without so much as a second's pause to catch his breath.  I was slightly worried that he might pass out from screaming.  I said, "Okay.  You've made your choice." 
He changed his yell.  "NOOOO!  I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT!  I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT!" etc., etc. 
So he WAS listening.

I grabbed him around the middle, expertly turning his body into such a position so as to make futile his attempts at scratching, hitting and kicking me.  He used all 12 of his limbs (I swear they multiplied during this process) to latch on to every folding chair we passed en route to the door.  I somehow managed to open the door and pleaded, "Help!  I need help!!!"  Three adults came rushing over and it took all three of them to wrestle this kid to the floor.
I went back into class and expected to see all my other Sunbeams gaping at me in fear.  Instead, they were completely unaffected; just sitting around the fishing game trying to catch those fish.  Little Stanley looked up and said, "Mikey shouldn't be mean like that, huh, Sister Dotson.  He should come fishing with us."  All the other Sunbeams nodded their heads in agreement with Stanley's profound wisdom.
So, we learned a good lesson after all...  and I went home and took a nap.

Top Ten 2011 Hopeful

Eric's First Submission for the year:

"Separated At Birth?"

I've often heard the theory that everyone in the world has a double wandering around somewhere, but only a few people are ever lucky enough to meet their "twin". Eric has always been a lucky guy. It was basketball night... the one night a week when he can cut loose and be like Jimmer for an hour or two. He was warming up and waiting for all the other guys to show up when one of the regulars arrived with an invited guest. He introduced his friend as "Kerick"... "Kerick Dotson". The two Dotsons looked at their mirror image and then got a good laugh out of discussing ways to help everyone tell them apart. One could wear a hat, or turn his shirt inside-out to make it easier for everyone. In the end, they decided to just remember that Eric was the Mormon twin and Kerick... was the African American.

That seemed to do the trick.

Type II "I Wannas" - A Childhood Disease... Symptoms & Cures

So, what is it about getting stuff that makes us want more stuff?  We had gone a full 2 months without having treats in the house.  We were cutting back on spending so there were no trips to Chuck E. Cheese or the movies and we were quite content.  Everyone found something that they loved and were grateful for and life was good.  Then I had my birthday and I bought enough treats and rented enough movies to keep the kids happy (and not needing anything) for a day.  Eric took the kids out to dinner that night and they did a few more fun things together.  They were still enjoying the treats and movies the next day, but by the third day my littlest one was complaining that she never got anything good.  Where does that come from?

I remembered that my older kids would do that when they were little, too.  If we had a splurge of good times, instead of ending up happier and more grateful, the kids would become more whiney and discontented.  I have wonderful kids, and I know it's not just a Dotson-Family failing... but what is it about receiving more that causes the "I Wannas" to rear its ugly head?

I have a theory.

It goes back to the "natural man" thing.  There is an eternal principle at work here.  We know that to be carnally-minded, or focused on the things of the world, is death and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.  It doesn't mean that if we eat out two days in a row we're going to die; it's more of a feed-your-body vs. feed-your-soul thing.  That which we do not NEED can never satisfy.  Our bodies need nutrition, water, sleep and love in order to flourish.  If we replace nutrition with junk food, our bodies will crave more and more because we are not satisfying our nutritional needs.  No matter how many cupcakes we stuff into our mouths, we will not feel satiated until we deliver the good stuff.  I believe the same is true with our souls.  If we are feeding our bodies' appetites for fun and frivolous activities and not our spirits, we are just stuffing ourselves with spiritual junk food.  Our souls need light, truth and love in order to flourish and feel satisfied.  When we focus on ourselves and our own wants, we find ourselves wanting more and more in an attempt to gratify our spirits' yearnings.

The Cure:  It's funny, really.  I turned Melia into my "servant-girl".  The next day she followed right by my side and assisted me with every, little task and chore on my list.  She helped load the washer and fold the clothes; she helped do the dishes and sweep the floors; we cleaned her room and bathroom.  It was a long day filled with work.  In my mind, I designed this plan to "teach her a lesson"... but, instead, she had... fun.  She loved being my little helper and working side-by-side with me.  At the days' end, when I was tucking her into bed, she gave me a tight squeeze and told me that it was the best day she had ever had!  So, we talked about it for a little while.  Why was it so good?  She couldn't find the words to express it.  She just knew that she felt good inside.  Isn't that interesting?  Her soul was satisfied because it was filled with service and obedience and love.  Think about all those parents out there who don't want to deny their children all the "good" things of life.  They're giving their first-graders I-Phones & Playstations, signing them up for every activity under the sun and going on several vacations a year in an attempt to satisfy their childrens' every want.  We're missing the point and feeding our children's souls nothing but junk.

So, my goal as a mom is to find more ways to fill my children's days with light and truth and love.  It makes sense that we're counseled to set aside one night a week for Family Home Evening.  That's one night each week when we can sit together as a family without the distractions of Facebook, texting, and television and talk to each other; truly communicate the things that are important to our better selves.  We also start each day with family prayer and scripture study.  I did this more out of obedience than understanding at first, but I've seen the blessings that come from it.  My children will discuss how the scriptures apply to what is going on in the world today and they know to their cores that there is more to life than the trivial things that they have to deal with each day.  But, more importantly, we now know that we're feeding their souls with light and truth when we start the day with scriptures and prayer.  It's like their souls' breakfast!  Beyond that, I need to find a way to feed their need for service and love.  Chores are important, but they can feel more like a "to-do" list than a service to others.  I need to do a little searching to see what options are out there.

I'll keep you posted.